Tuesday, October 7, 2008

A List of Bullet Points

There's a joke (one of several thousand) about Chuck Norris that goes like this: Chuck Norris is so fast that he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head. I am like this version of Chuck Norris, except that it's not speed we're talking about, but incompetence. As in: Jason is so unable to focus on one task that he can . . . what was I saying?

Anyway, here are some things I thought this week:

  • Happy birthday, Cat Whisperer! I'd put your head on a gorilla, but I decided long ago not to do that to women. Sexist? Yes. Are you grateful? I'm sure. Your birthday present is pretty cool.
  • Speaking of which: Happy zeroth birthday, Kaylee! My new niece (and CW's new granddaughter) was born at 1:48 pm today. She was eight pounds, thirteen ounces, and twenty-one inches long. Now we can tease the Demon Nephew for the rest of his life that, at least on the days on which they were born, his sister was bigger than he was. Not that I'd tease a five-year-old.
  • Speaking of which: Happy fifth birthday, Demon Nephew! I wish we'd been there to celebrate, but at least you're saving us some cupcakes. Right? Right?
  • Here's a link to Michele's post about our houseguest. Remember last time this happened? It's almost two years to the day later. Weird.
  • I got a letter this week that was written in International Phonetic Alphabet, and while I was able to read it--slowly--I haven't been able to compose a response.

And on the political front:

  • Here's a story that explains why Sarah Palin sounds like she's from Minnesota.
  • Here's a story that tries to make sense of Palin's gibberish.
  • Here's a thirteen-minute video describing John McCain's involvement in the Keating Five S&L scandal in the 1980s.

  • And here's a link to the Saturday Night Live spoof of the Vice-Presidential Debate last Thursday. I feel a little dirty linking to SNL--a show that hasn't been significant in about twenty-five years, and hasn't been funny in fifteen.
  • Oh, yeah. And here's where the Palins may not have been paying their taxes. That's unAmerican, don'tcha know.
But beyond that, we're golden. I think. Whose pants are these?

4 comments:

Mike said...

(I feel inadequate putting this down as a follow-up to that conservative detritus, but...)

So, yeah. I don't even remember what I put in that letter. I hope you enjoyed it. I was WAY bored when I wrote it.

Jason said...

Good one. You'll try to dismiss McCain's relationship with Keating even though McCain wound up returning $112,000 in gift money to the crook after the investigation, but you're trying to play up Obama's connection to Ayers because they lived in the same neighborhood?

Idiot. And disable your shift key--you haven't learned to use it properly.

Anonymous said...

Thank you Jason!
I was very happy when my head did not land on a gorilla body! I will admit I was a little nervous that I might find my head on a cat body! So, grateful I am!
My birthday gift WAS the coolest - not many can say they got a granddaughter on their birthday!
The Cat Whisperer

Anonymous said...

bɪər.

That's about all I've got for IPA.