Damn, People Are Stupid #3

Normally I like Nick Coleman's commentaries in the Minneapolis Star Tribune. He tends to take the side of the underdog, usually in a case where that is necessary. Normally he makes sense. This time he doesn't.

Actually, I had overlooked this article until Michele started ranting about it over breakfast (she is her father's daughter--no doubt about it). Once I read it, though, my ranting matched hers.

Apparently a woman named Christina Brown bought some shirts at Target, paid for them with a check, and took them home. She discovered there that the shirts didn't fit and returned to the store the next day to get her money back. Once in the store she was told that--per company policy--she could have her money back immediately in the form of a gift card or she could wait six more days and get cash back. That wasn't good enough for Ms. Brown. She wanted cash and she wanted it now. Evidently her conversation with the manager of the store wasn't well-handled from either end, and Ms. Brown was taken away by stretcher to the hospital.

Here are the relevant points to the episode:

• Ms. Brown wanted her money back and, according to Target's return policy, was entitled to it.
• Ms. Brown was offered her money back in accord with Target's return policy.
• Ms. Brown wanted Target to make an exception to their return policy.
• Ms. Brown refused her refund and refused to leave unless an exception was made for her.
• Ms. Brown called the police, who apparently decided she needed to go to the hospital.

Here are the irrelevant points to the episode (but Coleman included them anyway):

• Ms. Brown is 79 years old.
• Ms. Brown is an English-Irish immigrant.
• Ms. Brown uses a wheelchair.
• Ms. Brown wears a patch over her eye. (Arrrr.)
• Ms. Brown's leg ached.

Emotional appeal is used effectively when supporting a conclusion already arrived at by reason, as any of my freshman Comp students have heard more times than they'd like. It doesn't, however, take the place of reason, which Coleman surely knows. He's a better columnist than this. Here's another gem:

Attention shoppers: You won't take a gift certificate? You must be nuts.

Nice distortion, Coleman.

Here are some questions Coleman didn't address, but that I'd find pertinent to the issue:

• Why didn't Ms. Brown try on the shirts in the store?
• Did Ms. Brown try to exchange the shirts for some that would fit?
• Why was Ms. Brown so emphatic about getting cash back? If the shirts had fit she wouldn't have the money, so she clearly wasn't counting on having it. And since she "liked to shop" in that store--did she not think the gift card would be useful to her?

All of this is easy to come up with after the fact, but there's no hiding it: this is a shoddy commentary.

Sure, the manager could have defused the whole situation by just handing thirty dollars to Ms. Brown. And there's no harm in trying, right? I don't think Ms. Brown was out of line going to the store and making the attempt (though it seems that calling instead would have been more sensible since she *boo hoo* uses a wheelchair). But she's deluded if she expects people have an obligation to do her a favor, to make an exception for her.

And we have the usual fallout:

Christina Brown wants an apology, she wants her money (including getting her medical bills from the unexpected hospital trip paid), and she wants this: "I want the staff trained in how to treat customers."

Want, want, want. Wah-fucking-wah. I'm sure she'll get her money--in seven days, like the policy says (Correction--already has her money. This happened on July 31st). But money back for the hospital visit? Talk to the police, who actually made the call to send her there. Good luck with that. An apology? Yeah, here's an apology that Target should send her:

Dear Ms. Brown,

We're sorry you're a self-important, whiny bitch. Thanks for your previous business, but please take it elsewhere from here on out, because we'd rather spend our time and effort on reasonable people.

Thank you,

Target

And as far as I can tell, everyone involved treated her as she should have been treated.

Idiot.